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4/28/2026

I've never felt so lonely in my entire life

I miss my siblings so much. It's been almost three years since we lost custody and I was starting to adjust ok to work and adult life and stuff without them but lately living without them has been so painful. I'm really sad and life feels empty and scary. It's just me tbh. All my stressors would be less scary if they were around. I miss hanging out with them, I miss hearing the irritating youtube videos they would play at top volume while I'm trying to study. I took all the time I got to spend with them for granted.

When I was a teenager I was so obsessed with Hazbin Hotel, I remember being so excited for the pilot and the series and stuff. My siblings love indie animations like that, my little sister absolutely loves TADC and draws which makes me rly happy obviousy bc I love drawing. (I've only seen the first episode, but I'll catch up soon. IK fans can be annoying but seeing people excited abt stuff makes me happy even if it's not what I'm usually into.) I'm just extra sad because my little sister is going to watch the finale in theaters with her step siblings.

I just wish I could have taken her. I would do anything to get them back.

I feel so empty like the world is getting greyer. I'm proud of my art but it's overshadowed by the stress and anxiety and emptiness I feel. I'm afraid it'll never end. I just miss when the sun was brighter and the world felt colorful. I'm so stressed. I hope it ends eventually. I'm just gonna try to channel as much of the pain and fear into my art as possible. What else is there to do?